Absolute Randomness
by Dermatillomania
Summary: What happens when your out in the sun too long? Absolute randomness, that's what! Gaara gets to find out the hard way. //One Shot//


A/N: Ello, here is a random one shot that I have decided to write. It will be.. random! Hope you enjoy, and I hope your not _too_ disturbed when your done reading it :P

No, I do not own Naruto, and I do not own Scooby Doo.

**Absolute Randomness**

Gaara walked through the ruggedy streets of Suna, his arms crossed and with his usual blank expression. It was really hot out today, as Suna was going through some sort of heat wave. Gaara didn't care, it just meant that nobody was going to be outside today.

"Uhg.." He groaned, stopped and leaned against the wall of some random building, in the part that was shaded. "Hot.."

He had left his gourd in the mansion, knowing he wouldn't want to excess weight. He started walking again, sweating a lot. It was really, _really_ hot that day.

He looked up to the sky briefly, then blinked, looking back in front of him. His eyes widened as he noticed something that he had never seen before. There was an ice cream truck not far from him. Since when did Suna ever have ice cream trucks? He shrugged, deciding that it didn't matter. They had them now, and that's all he cared about.

He made his way over to the truck, putting his hand on it, then glaring as it disappeared. "What is this?"

He grumbled, then sighed, and started walking again. Suddenly, he spotted someone in a black and red cloak. He was blue, and Gaara identified him as Kisame from the Akatsuki. He never knew about this guy before, so he wasn't sure how he knew now. "Hey, you, water guy.."

Kisame jumped over to him, landing on all fours and smiling up at the red head. He stuck his tongue out, and barked. Like a dog. "Ruff!!"

"What the hell..?" Gaara stared at the man, raising one invisible eyebrow at him. "I thought you were a shark.."

Suddenly, Itachi appeared out of nowhere, with sunglasses and a cane. "Kisame, who are you barking at?"

Itachi Uchiha? What's with the sunglasses and the cane? Gaara just noticed that Kisame was suddenly on a leash, and Itachi was holding the other side. "Kisame.. the guide dog..?"

"Huh, who's that?" Itachi called, slowly making his way over and touching Gaara's face. He put both hands on the red head's face, feeling around. "You sound like that Jinchuuriki.. Gaara? Is that you?"

"Yeah.." Gaara replied, confused. Itachi smiled, pulling Gaara into an embracing. "What the-?!"

"Gaara!! I missed you so much!! How's everything??" Itachi shouted in glee, pulling back and keeping his face directed to where he thought Gaara was. "It's really hot here, where are we? In your village? That would explain a lot. How does Konoha look? Is it blown up yet?"

"It's hot, I'm confused, were in Suna, Konoha looks the same it has always looked, no it's not blown up." Gaara replied, all in one breath. He stared strangle at Itachi. "Why is Kisame your guide dog..?"

"Kisame? He's always been my guide dog, you don't remember?" Itachi patted his hands together, and Kisame jumped up, barking happily. Itachi scratched behind Kisame's ears, or what he _thought_ were Kisame's ears, and patted his head. "Good boy!! Your such a good boy!! I'll get you some Scooby snacks today, 'cause your such a good boy!!"

Gaara turned and started walking away. That was enough of blind Itachi and guide dog Kisame for today. He walked until he came upon yet another strange sight. There stood Deidara, playing with a bunch of clay action figures.

"Hey you, Blondie.." Gaara walked up to him, staring down at him as he continued to play with his action figures. "What are you doing..?"

"Oh, Gaara-kun, I am playing with my action figures, _un_!" He looked up at Gaara, wearing an eye patch over his left eye. "Would you like to join me, _hmm_?"

"Um.." Before the red head could reply, he was pulled down and given two clay figures. One was of him, and the other was his brother. He was slightly confused. "What do you want me to do with these..?"

"Play with them, _yeah_?" Deidara grinned, holding up a figure of himself and talking as it. "Hey, Gaara, I really like your red hair, _un! _It's so shiny and brilliant, _hmm_! Would you like to go out sometime, _yeah_?"

With that, Gaara dropped the two figures and stood up, taking his leave before Deidara could force him to stay any longer. Today was quite a strange day.

Gaara continued to walk once again, looking around and waiting for the next strange thing to pop out of nowhere. Nothing happened, and he loosened up a bit. Suddenly, Neji Hyuuga appeared from nowhere, in a hula skirt and a coconut bra. It was a disturbing sight to behold. Then again, at least it wasn't Gaara's brother..

"Neji..?" He stared at him, eyeing the skirt. Neji turned to him and grinned widely, jumping on him and bringing them both to the ground. Lucky Gaara, he got a pretty nice view of under the Hyuuga's skirt, and the long black haired boy hadn't worn any underwear that day. "...."

"Gaara of the desert, I will make you into the second best hula dancing champion!" Neji exclaimed as he stripped Gaara of his clothing, replacing it with a hula skirt and coconut bra. "It is your destiny!!"

"Um.." Gaara was wide eyed as Neji helped him off the ground, pulling out a radio and turning on the hula dance song.

"Come on, Gaara! Time to sway your hips!" Neji swayed his hips, waving his arms on one side, then switching to the other after. Gaara copied him slowly for a bit, then booked it. Once he was out of the hula dancing Neji's range, he huffed.

"What's going on today.." He continued to walk again, though, wearing the hula dance outfit this time. He stopped when he noticed someone, staring as they made here way over to him. It was another member from the Akatsuki, this one being Zetsu, the plant guy.

"Mm, it's Gaara of the desert. Hello Gaara!" The white half of Zetsu's face smiled, and the black half frowned. It looked funny. The frowning side seemed to speak now. "**Gaara of the desert.. I don't like you!**"

"Um.. why..?" Gaara asked, giving him a confused look.

"**Because you won the award for best environment destroyer!! That's MY job!**" The angry Zetsu yelled, but the happy one held out a hand. "It's alright, Gaara, he's just angry that you destroyed my lovely garden before he had the chance to."

"I'm lost.." Gaara put his hand to his head, feeling a head ache start to form. The happy Zetsu held out a piece of paper that seemed to come from nowhere, then disappeared. It was a map. "That's not what I meant.."

He shrugged, crumpling up the paper and walking again. He stopped not long after, finding himself in front of none other than Light Yagami from Death Note. "Dude.. your not even in the right anime.."

"It doesn't matter, I will destroy you! Let there be justice!!!" Light too out his beloved book named Death note, and started to scribble down Gaara's name. He suddenly stopped, looking at Gaara. "Uh.. what's your last name..?"

"Don't have one." Gaara stared blankly at him. Light gasped, falling to his knees.

"Noo!! My plan has been ruined!! It will never work!! How could this happen!?" He cried, and Gaara sighed, making the sand beneath Light wrap around him. "Imperial Sand of desert coffin death Implosion!"

Light screamed, and burst into three thousand butterflies. Things just became more and more confusing, and Gaara continued to walk again. He thought, his expression confused. '_Since when have I ever said 'dude'? And what was with the name of my jutsu? Why was it mixed with all it's different names?_'

Suddenly, a little pink bunny hopped out and sat in front of Gaara. He stopped, looking down to it. "Oh, hello Sasuke."

With that, he walked by the random pink bunny. Gaara stoped again as he walked up to Rock Lee.

"Gaara of the desert! It is so good to see you!" The boy with the bowl cut shouted, running over to Gaara and hugging him. "How long has it been since we last eloped, my love?"

"My.. love..?" Gaara blinked furiously, now a little more than just confused. "What are you talking about..!?"

"Don't you remember? We're married!" Lee held up his hand, showing the shiney golden ring on it. "We have children! And your already pregnant with our next one, I see."

Three children, two boys and one girl, ran over and hugged Gaara's legs. All three of them had bowl cuts, the girl had orange hair, one of the boys had brown, and the other had black. They were all wearing green jumpsuits. That was when Gaara noticed his stomach had suddenly bulged out to show he actually was pregnant. "What... huh.. why.. how?!"

Lee was grinning, and pulled Gaara into a kiss. Gaara stood, wide eye'd, and shifted his eyes, trying to plan his escape. Suddenly, Lee was kicked away from Gaara, and Naruto stood in front of him.

"Gaara's mine, bushy brow!!" Naruto shouted, shaking his fist at him. "And he's pregnant with _my_ baby, for your information!"

Gaara was still confused, but Naruto instead of Lee was something he could handle. Though, he wasn't sure how he got pregnant, considering he wasn't female. Naruto turned around and pulled Gaara to him, joining their lips in a beautiful kiss.

And the two of them skipped off into the sunset.

"Gaara?" The sudden sound of Kankuro's voice alerted Gaara, and he looked around, stopping Naruto with him. "Gaara?! GAARA!!!"

"Huh.. what.." Gaara was suddenly brought back to reality, and looked up to his brother. He noticed that he was leaning against that random building that he had stopped at earlier. "What the.. hell..?"

"We need to get you back inside, your exhausted from the heat! I think it's messing with your mind, you were mumbling about how you were pregnant with Naruto's baby and you were married to Lee." Kankuro shot him a strange look as he helped him up, bringing him back to the mansion so that he could get out of the sun for a bit.

Behind them, the pink bunny of doom hopped along, following them while giggling.

THE END!!

-

A/N: Yeah, that was quite a strange one shot, I must say.. though, I've never written a one shot before, and I have never written a spoof before. So yeah, that was kinda fun :P

Hope you enjoyed, please give me your comments XD


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